Tag Archives: Health

Lessons Learned from Adele

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spilled milkThis is Adele. She is the daughter of my friends Adam and Emily and she is also Graham’s little sister. Adele is a beautiful child. She has big brown eyes and a happy smile on her face most of the time. Her mom posted this picture on Facebook this morning, the post was titled “Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk.” I laughed out loud and immediately asked Emily for permission to use it on the Pensees blog.

Look closely at the photo. I learned several lessons as I giggled at Adele’s predicament.

Lesson One: Let your child learn lessons on her own, even if you have to clean up their messes while they are young. Mess ups are more expensive when they are teenagers.

Lesson Two:  Look over by the door, there is a neat mat with children’s shoes that are removed. Excellent habits are encouraged by parents but seldom is perfection achieved.

Lesson Three: See the puddle of milk behind her, it didn’t take her long to realize that she blew it. She went looking for help. When children mess up they know it, they are looking for understanding not ridicule.

Lesson Four: Notice she is still holding the cup. Don’t let your child hold on to  evidence of the failure and don’t bring it up their entire life. Encourage them to let go of the mistake. Allow them to forget. Lavish them with your love and mercy. There is not a person in the world who makes only one mistake in their life. Everyone needs a do over from time to time.

Lesson Five: Don’t cry over spilled milk. Unless Adele gets on her knees and licks up the milk there is no way to change the circumstance. Emily can’t get the milk back in the cup, even if she wrings out the shirt. Why not simply say, “Oooopppsss, it’s okay.”

Lesson Six: Knowing my friends Adam and Emily, I am sure they quickly cleaned her up and gave her more milk. Restoring her quickly and gently will change her view of mistakes. Restoration rebuilds healthy self-esteem and frees the child from a fear of failure.

As adults we mess up, too. But we have a heavenly Father who meets us in the middle of the messy parts of life. This is January 1, 2014. Let’s learn from Adele and from God’s Word. Nehemiah 9:31, speaks of God’s character and care of His people, “But in your great mercy you did not put an end to them, for you are a gracious and merciful God.” Don’t cry over spilled milk this year. Move on and do like Adele pour yourself another cup and simply start over.

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Stiff Neck

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stiff-neck-womanHave you ever hurt your neck and you aren’t sure how it happened? I experienced that firsthand a couple of weeks ago. I was minding my business, backing out of an ordinary parking space, and a searing pain shot through my neck.  It penetrated deep into the tissue and bone. Immediately, my neck was so stiff, I couldn’t turn to the right or left. As I drove home, I had to reposition my entire body in order to make safe right and left turns. For several days, I could only look straight ahead. Driving, sleeping, and working was difficult. Thank goodness it only lasted a few days.

While my stiff neck was healing, I thought about God’s description of His own people. In Exodus 32, Israel  had sinned big time when they built a golden calf to worship. Their idolatry caused God’s anger to burn against them and He said to Moses, (v. 9) “I have seen this people and behold they are a stiff-necked people.”

God describing His people as stiff-necked was not a compliment.  This word is defined: obstinate, stubborn, willful, rebellious, unruly, and ornery. It means a person has a major attitude problem and an unwillingness to be led. Over and over in scripturestubborn goat God describes His disobedient nation in this unbecoming, uncomplimentary way. In my imagination, I think of a stubborn old goat that refuses his masters leading when I hear this term.

I never want another stiff neck physically but more than that, I don’t want the Lord to describe me in this way. A stiff neck happens when we become hardened to the master’s leading and so certain of self, that we are not easily guided back on the path of spiritual wholeness and wellness.

A spiritual stiff neck is a result of pride.  So what’s the remedy for this? It’s simple,  give your situation over to the Lord. Ask Him to work the kinks out of your life.  It might be painful for a time but, He is a gentle healer.

Scarred for Life

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bandaged ladyHave you ever seen anyone who has terrible scars due to illness, accident, or trauma?  I remember seeing a young woman on a talk show who was terribly disfigured because her father poured acid on her face and hands.  The burns healed but she would need numerous plastic surgeries. Through her tears, she said, “I’ll never be the same on the inside or outside.”

This courageous lady, broke down and cried when she talked about her life. She openly admitted that the hardest part was going out in public where others could see her scars.  She said people either gasp and stare, turn away shocked, or they approach her, ask questions, and offer her their compassion.

Not many of us escape this life without an event or trauma that leaves us changed forever. All of us are scarred in some way. For most of us, our scars are on the inside, not visible to others. I wonder what it would be like to go out into public where everyone’s internal scars are exposed? Imagine walking down the street and actually seeing the visible scars of mental abuse, failure, public sin, disappointment, loss, depression, and persecution.

How would we respond and react to one another if, we knew their scar filled story?  Would we stare and secretlyhands compare our wounds to theirs?  Would we be thankful that our hurts aren’t as bad as theirs? Would we turn away shocked to see someone so exposed and vulnerable? Or, would we take time to approach them, ask questions, and extend heartfelt compassion and care? 

I pray I would be like Jesus. He was an advocate for the down and out.  He came to the rescue of those with internal, as well as, external scars. He reached out to the demon possessed, those caught in adultery, and even prostitutes who sold their self-esteem and reputation for a bit of bread. Psalm 145:9 says, “The Lord is good to all, and His compassion is over all that he has made.” May we follow the example of Jesus, the one who extended compassion with perfection.